It's always the quiet ones...

hello? anyone still there?

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:00:04 GMT

Hello friends. Lost and found. Near and far. It has been over a year since my last post and if you still have me somewhere on your 'friends list' despite my missing presence in your life on the interweb, I hope your life in the past year brought blessings, but also pain to help you grow, feel something new and embrace the unknown.

It's strange to summarize the past year in a few short sentences. Let's see if I can do it.

Google has gifted me with both hope and fear. The short story is I love my profession and the brilliant people I see when I get my coffee in the morning. Ann Arbor has become my home and I live close enough to the Stadium to hear game cheers and close enough to downtown to bike/walk to work. My sister got married. I'm actually starting to understand a bit of what 'love' truly requires. I have a lovely, though small set of friends that keep me smiling. The old friends, the dear ones, still make an occasional, welcomed appearance and remind me that they loved me from the start and still do. I've experienced trials in the past year that have tested my faith in myself and humanity. Torture. I had a nice slice of that and am thankful for the friends I trusted with my life who pulled me out of it. The trials make the blessings sweeter, as cliche as it is and as I reflect on the year since my last post, I can count my 'complaints' on one hand. How lucky am I?

Very.

on pride and aluminum falcons

Tue, 29 May 2007 02:34:19 GMT

I have been struggling as of late to find any motivation to do much of anything outside of work. Perhaps it is because I'm still in the climbing phase -- I'm still learning new things everyday and being thrust into the fire (often on the same day I learn the facts of said 'fire') to learn through mistakes and exposure. This is a wild and rather intense kind of training. Granted, as this is my first real 'corporate' job, I don't have much to compare to, but sometimes I question if I'll make it through it in a blaze of glory or simply crash and burn.

Wow, there were too many fire metaphors in that last paragraph. Basically, the job is fantastic. The grand opening last week was remarkable and I was really proud to be a part of that milestone for the company. I'm challenged by my work and inspired by those around me. Yet I find the intensity of it all overwhelming at times. I've only 'lost it' once and my patience with myself and others is improving greatly. This is good. It's a lesson I need to learn. That I can't always be perfect. Especially when it comes to analytics, javascript and source code. But I'm doing just fine and I'll get there eventually.

And we have a wii and the newest version of guitar hero. The impeccable stress is very much evened out by the playtime I get with my stellar coworkers once or twice a week. Us geeks present for your amusement: aluminum falcons.

Since work has been the heart of my existence lately (and I rather like it -- I never knew I'd be so career driven), there's little to report elsewhere. The main highlights are numbered below for your convenience:

1. I ran in the Chelsea 5K. New Years resolution met. And not only did I finish the damn thing, but I got first place in my age bracket (20-29). I am still swelling with pride over this accomplishment. My first race. My sister came in a close 2nd and it was a really great bonding experience for us. And she was ridiculously proud of me which was the best reward.

2. I have been spending more time with different kinds of people lately. Work and otherwise. I'm branching out and making new close friends. I feel I'm growing because of this and I really like that feeling.

3. Anna's getting married in two weeks so things on that front have gotten crazy. Showers, bachelorette parties, weekends up north. Hopefully after the 16th, I'll have a bit more time to spend with folks. I'm excited for her though. She and Randy are quite the match.

4. I may be going skydiving in July with fellow Googlers. This will mark the stupidest/coolest thing I've done in a long time.

5. I've reconnected with some valuable Albionians lately. This has been a testament to the fact that school really had a collection of kind souls. There are only a few who I can say I am consistently close with now, but those few continue to shock and amaze me. We talk about grown up things now, but our consideration for one another is still in tact, if not escalated to this new plateau... I have friends that I would drop everything for if they asked or needed me. And I know they would do the same. This is a gift that's rather foreign to me, outside from family. And I'm very very thankful.

6. I need some time to sit down somewhere peaceful and sort some things out. There have been both grand and painful things that have happened lately that I haven't had much time to grasp yet. And they deserve/demand my attention. I'm praying life pauses long enough for me to think them through soon. I'm in a season of busy avoidance and that's becoming a bit of an issue. Patience however. I'm getting better at it. And I ask that others be patient with me in the meantime as well. =)

Thanks for listening to me for a moment. It's been a long overdue catch up. Sorry for the vague-ness of it all. I'll have to start updating more often so specifics can be included without turning this blog into a novella. Love to those that have held my hand through the difficult bits as of late and especially those who have literally made me slow down and laugh. Cheers to you!

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:17:59 GMT

On what would make today perfect:
1. A full tank of gas
2. A (rather short) road trip, windows open
3. Lighthouse Park
4. Basket for picnicking with blanket, great wine and fabulous variety of perfectly-paired cheeses.
5. Dinner at the Inn on the channel. Halibut, followed by Creme Brule & espresso at sunset.
7. Drinks afterward at the converted old firehouse beneath the bridge.
8. A perfect, witty, pleasantly comical partner in crime.

What today actually consists of:
1. A dark, dreary art gallery where I am imprisoned against my will.
2. The sad "two weeks" of closing out business relationships and making final deals before imminent departure.
3. Lukewarm office coffee that makes me miss living in a coffee house. And makes me want to dump it in the flower bed. Except then it would probably kill the pansies.
4. Yogurt and granola for lunch.
5. A boss who is spastically trying to utilize every last ounce of time he has with me.
6. A very strange ant invasion.
7. Work.
8. Daydreams of said perfect day.

**On a side note: The workshops were brilliant. Very glad I got to make it out for them. Bravo and well played, all.

On the latest NEWS (Job and York)

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 16:56:49 GMT

Without further ado, after waiting entirely too long to post such news, I put forth the following exciting piece of information to all my cheerleaders out there:

I have been hired by Google.

I sent in my acceptance letter yesterday to corporate in California so it's official. After weeks of interviews, tests, writing samples, and background checks, they offered me the job. I will be starting work with them in early April in the bohemian, liberal heaven (or closest thing to it in MI), Ann Arbor. My position title is AdWords Coordinator. Basically, AdWords is the Google advertising system that is the corporation's main source of revenue. I'll be working with Fortune 500 clients as well as local small businesses, much like the one I'm at now, getting them started on the wonders of online advertising with the most used search engine in the world. Yeah. Wowza. More on this, see entry dated 2/21/07 sporting lil' Tux.
   As Jeff would put it, I have officially joined the Ann Arbor geek community. And what a happy, nerdy lot we are!
   So this new position brings with it all sorts of exciting adult (ish) things like stocks, 401Ks and nice healthcare. All this is foreign to me after being relatively "self employed" at the gallery this past year. Apartment shopping. Both for the actual apartment and furniture/appliances for said apartment. I am doing grown up things. This is both unbelievable and fantastic.
   After the good news of the offer and giving Robert my 2 weeks notice (which was by far the hardest and saddest thing I've had to do in a long time -- a complicated story, ask if you're curious), I got to hop on a plane to go to New York. The timing was perfect. I left with a huge weight off my shoulders and it made my time in the city just that much more of a celebration. My week in New York passed at a break-neck pace and it's all very hazy now looking back on it. I did so much. I loved it so much. Seeing Bobby was a huge highlight, bumming around Astoria with Graham and Rick, playing Mario Kart, trying to catch a mouse, cabbies that didn't know the difference between North and South, seeing Avenue Q (Jordy, I thought of you!), drinking champagne at EO, playing Buckhunter and darts at Flannery's, going to the MOMA and the Frick, Jameson on St. P's, eating insanely good food, modeling, working, etc etc. I'll post more details sometime soon. And I miss the city itself more than I thought I wuold, almost as much as the people I left there.

So hurrah. Life is certainly grand. And I'm just trying to soak it all in. What a lucky duck I am. Thanks to all you cats who supported me through this ordeal. I owe you big. Angels, all of you.

on march thus far and Christian OS (yes, I'm serious)

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 21:58:18 GMT

It's true. You can really and truly get a Christian version of Linux.

And you have a choice between Ubuntu Christian Edition (UCE) or Ichthux which has a far cooler name.

The Christian editions feature bundled Bible & miscellaneous scripture tools and software, and has adult-content filtering enabled. Maybe it also filters out swear words? I don't know. But I bet it scans your email for vicious gossip-spreading and the Lord's name used in a disrespectful manner.

In other news, March is already a weird month and I'm only one day into it. It has been pouring rain and storming all afternoon. This general gloom was preceeded this morning with about an inch of snow. Michigan is known for its strange weather, but this is almost too much to take.

My brother has been noticably depressed at the notion I am likely to move out in short order. This makes me feel both loved and heartbroken at once. He and I had a surprising go. A very good one. And I wouldn't trade it for having lived anywhere else. Mike has taught me a lot and we've regained a connection we lost from our youth. No world travels or apartment in a crowded city could ever replace that.

Hoping to have some good news to report come next week. If so, I will be painting the town all shades of crimson with various compatriots. I'm looking forward to it, either way. Because even if it's bad news, I've got other journeys and new paths lined up. Holler.

I am looking forward to a couple outdoor adventures I've got in the works for the coming months. And they actually look and sounds probable and affordable. They include a romp in Kentucky, backpacking an island up north (either Isle Royale or North Manitou), and white water rafting trip when they let out the Gauley in September that features a "Pirate Party" themed weekend. All of this is stellar news. I finally have something adventurous to plan for and day dream about.

Hm. This was a relatively useless post except for the OS bit. I think I just felt like airing out some of those thoughts -- test them out. Thanks for reading.

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:13:12 GMT

I came on here just for a minute...

So I can remind myself to breathe.

And remind myself that it will in fact, all be okay somehow. It always is.

on having 3 siblings and the winds of change

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 04:14:24 GMT

The first sibling, my best friend for life said:

"Let's see if you get the job, then we'll talk."

The second sibling, my hero for life said:

"Don't fuck it up."

The third sibling, the one I'm living with; the one I never understood and who never understood me. The one who worshiped me the moment I was born, but then... stopped... left me a note that said:

"Good luck today. Love, Mike." And surprisingly, he has been bragging about me ever since...

Hm.

I find that just grand. Each had a different take, a different kind of push, a different kind of encouragement. This is not a comment on my siblings. I love each one for various reasons. I just found each response at this particular moment perfect. And have since decided tonight that if I do ever have kids, there will be at least 3. Because. Well, because you never know.

And as I sat outside in the dark tonight, the wind was blowing hard from almost every direction. I feel good about this. The winds of change are here... am I am ready. Bring it on, bitches.

on pride, both my own and that of others

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:17:39 GMT

I am just bubbling over with giddy excitement!

What a lovely feeling. Must savor this as long as I can.
As this feeling will inevitably grow more complicated in the coming days.

Ooo! Possibility! Adventure! Intrigue!

on old friends being the best and the true geek in all of us

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:05:40 GMT

Tux and his mom are out in full force today pudgily smiling proudly at me. I'm full of this giddy sensation that's just tingling all over. The past few days I've been back from LA have been both surreal and dreamlike. I feel like I've watching the past couple days pass from the outside. It's one of those weird times I think we all experience at one time or another when things are passing so fast that all you can do is watch. Emotions are heightened and stress reaches the breaking point of almost a drunk buzzed feeling. Wow, I'm really not describing this v. well.

Long story short: I am one interview away from what seems like it could very well be my dream job.

If I'm not acting in some manner, this job would be it. The job description fits me and my interests almost too perfectly. The atmosphere is exactly what college students dream about when they imagine the ideal work environment. There is so much potential to grow professionally. And it taps into my secret nerdy side that has been fascinated with computers, software, and the glories of the internet since last spring... The people working there are my age -- young and ambitious. They are each brilliant in their own way and have fascinating backgrounds. Each person I bumped into during my 3 hour interview yesterday was from a different walk of life. They openly talked about loving their work. Their job had sent each of them various, even exotic places. They reveled in what it was that made me different.

I was their last interview of the day. They all left to play whirlyball as a company after (yes, I'm serious). And first thing this morning, I got an email that said the sooner I could come back to meet the big guy in charge for a final interview, the better. I'm meeting with him this coming Monday.

This whole time I didn't want to trump it. I didn't want to even mention it or get too excited. But their quick, vested interest in me is greater than I expected.

Google might want me. . . Google.

*shakes head in disbelief*
p.s. A special thanks to Jeff and Spencer for meeting me for dinner and drinks after. You two proved that old friends are indeed the best. Thank you both. Hopefully we might be seeing more of each other soon.

On singing LA LA LA

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 19:17:56 GMT

I'm back from LA and it was pretty nice, but surprisingly I wasn't thoroughly wowed or impressed. I also didn't really get to see too much of it as I was working all week. It was warm and the social scene was fascinating, but from what I gathered, I couldn't see myself in LA. I didn't despise it, I just felt out of place. The people I ran into and encountered there are very unlike me and I found I had practically nothing in common with them. But all in all it was a learning experience that I (for the most part) enjoyed. I got out of town for a minute to a place I've always wanted to go and I got to help out some business associates/friends with some promotional consultation. That made me feel useful and smart. And you can't really go wrong with feeling useful and smart.

When I got into work from the red eye, Robert took me to White Castle for a Valentine's Day themed business lunch to thank me for being the other lady in his life (his wife, the queen, being #1), his 'adopted daughter' as he called me. White Castle? Yeah, it was pretty awesome. They get all fancy on Valentine's Day! We're on the verge of a lot of big things at the gallery... Like so close, I'm actually allowing myself to get excited. And I'm not one to get my hopes up, so this is a big deal. And although he's insane and bugs the hell out of me sometimes, my boss is actually a bad ass. A bad ass who has my back and thinks I'm brilliant. And I have a job that people are green with envy about -- one I could talk energetically about for hours and is completely different everyday.

But I have an interview in Ann Arbor next week for something that could also be exciting... And Kels still wants me to come to LA with her permanently. Choices for the coming weeks may be extremely difficult to make. I'm just easing into it. And I've decided to take things as they come and see where life takes me next.

My latest pet peeve (aside from shoveling weighty snow): People I've never even met who ring me at the office while I'm on the clock for unpleasant and completely unprofessional reasons. That is simply out of line, not to mention invasive. All I can say to said strangers, and one in particular, is good luck. It seems you need it more than I do.

The Office is on tonight. And I'm so geeked!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. I know I'm late. Such is the theme with me lately. Sorry.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:40:51 GMT

I find it rather amusing that I'm in LA for a stamp-related event I'm promoting...

And I find I am in desperate need of stamps.

But there aren't any regular/useful ones for sale anywhere.

Now isn't that ridiculous?

future plans detailed below.

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 15:20:05 GMT

After careful thought and consideration,
I think I'm going to just be a park ranger.
Or perhaps, the tallest professional jockey ever.
I haven't decided yet.

Comments?

this isn't really important, but it's giving me a stomach ache

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 16:57:13 GMT

"The real question is: what happens when the chase is over? What happens when you get exactly what you want? At what price? Change is still change. Relationships will change, people will change. All by your wishes coming true. Change will always remain surrounded by fear and lined with sadness; even if it's 'good' for you."

So when/if I get what I want, then what?

Then what?

Hm. I'm on the verge. I've laid all my cards out in various situations. And now I'm just waiting. But what if I get what I think I want? I'm uncertain about this crap and I want to make a huge move/job-change to another state or country? I'm crazy and in trouble. Ha. Plus, I'm full of worrysome what-ifs. Which is a waste of energy that I barely have to begin with.

Really I think a vacation would fix all of this. A little backpacking bliss. Yup.

In other news, a telemarketer just hung up on *me*... What is that?

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 21:19:58 GMT

After much wailing, screaming, whining, delaying and distracting....
Without further ado, I'm pained to present...

http://www.myspace.com/rgdempster

Yes. Despite my best efforts to avoid it, I finally had to make one for Robert. Tah dah. So 'friend' him would you? And if anyone has suggestions on how to make it better, just holler. I'm still new at it and loathe using html in this fashion.

Good news includes:
1. It's Friday.
2. I'm going to see Anna, Christy, & Molly tonight. I miss my girls so much, therefore this is v. noteworthy!
3. Snow.
4. I have a phone interview next thursday for a position in the ad dept. of this tiny, no-name internet based corporation. Maybe you've heard of it? I think it's called Google.

so, happy friday everyone! hope your weekend is just delightful! hurrah newfound, blossoming optimism!

a plea for reminders

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 15:39:56 GMT

Someone remind me I have to call Starko, because really I can only put it off for so long. And my resume is a piece of crap (hard to tell from any other "smart" -- i used that term loosely to describe my good grades -- communications major from a tiny liberal arts college) except for my boastful international experience. Adding the fact that I am, indeed a theater major will be a plus. It will also be helpful not to live in fear that my potential employer will call up my educational institution to make sure I'm not a liar to find out that, according to the registrar, I am *not* a Theater major, or minor for that matter. They gave me no credit at all for all the crap I went through to graduate with a double-major. There was no mark of it in the graduation booklet (which I actually remember being amused about at the time, for some reason) and no record of it in my transcript. All that's there is just about 100+ theater classes/practicum credits that I clearly must've done just for "fun"... I know I submitted the necessary paperwork promptly, so I'm joining the ranks of every other Albion student who at one time or another bitched about the registrar. Hey, at least I'm in good company at this point.
I just have to call Starko. And honestly, I don't feel like it. At least I have some 'good' things to tell him. I am employed doing something other than working for the man. I'm working for A man, but not THE man. And I have some promising artistic opportunities coming. So, at least I wouldn't be a disappointment -- at least not on the surface ;). I'm just trying to resign myself to the idea I'm going to have to go back to Albion to sort this out personally. And I have no ambition to go back there. Sorry kids, Albion isn't really my hang-out anymore. At least if I went back I could catch up with a couple folks before they jump ship which might be nice. Meh, Albion just doesn't do it for me like it used to. Which is actually probably a really good thing.

Last night I had a dream I turned Jason Sebacher straight. And the whole sequence of events was rather inappropriate. This dream was oddly placed for various reasons including the fact I haven't seen him since I graduated last May. I woke up utterly confused and almost called the boy. Luckily (for him), it was just a dream. Though he did make a rather fetching straight man... *blush* okay okay, enough enough. back to work.

Someone needs to remind me to bring my laptop to work, too.
And to send Justin some sort of trinket for his birthday, preferably before it passes (it's this Sunday).

I'm turning into an old lady who goes to bed early and needs to be reminded to turn off the television.

on little boys kicking one another and my gunners

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 15:50:54 GMT

For those who know me well, it is no secret that I adore soccer. And that Arsenal will be my team of choice until death. And I could also watch footy all day if I could, go to matches until I ran out of money and sit in the pub hollering at the television with all the other old british men, pints in hand enjoying a heated match all afternoon. Therefore, since I love my Gunners, and now after their latest win over Blackburn, this link is appropriately posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjz2kbaCq9Y

*swoons, enthralled*
*proceeds to watch over and over*
Not only do my boys play dirty, cards thrown all over, kicking the other team (literally), but Thierry Henry became a hero with his parting goal. And Henry certainly caught my eye with this shot. I'm usually not one for egomania or 'end-zone dances' that surround professional sports, but this one is both impromptu, extremely enjoyable to watch, and warranted. Cheers mates! And it'll sure be tough to beat that goal. But if any team can beat it, it'll be my Gunners!

on feeling the holiday spirit a little late and useless thursdays

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 19:34:43 GMT

I've been playfully and pleasantly messaging Christy back and forth all day via facebook while attempting my other grim gallery tasks... this is what it's come to -- not that I really mind, I really enjoy Christy's at-work company as it seems from time to time, we are in very similar situations. Anna chose each of us as best friends at one point or another so we should at least get along. We more than get along. She's my work buddy now.

On my way out last night, I was crossing the parking lot on my way to Caribou and was stopped by two middle-aged women in a taurus. Expecting them to be asking for directions as had just happened with a gentleman at the gas station 10 minutes previous, I paused and cautiously approached the car when they called out to me. They proceeded to rattle off this sordid tale in broken sentances, obviously distressed with their unfortunate circumstances. They were from Kentucky, the driver had left her debit card at the hotel where they were staying in Lansing and they were running on fumes. The attendent at the gas station could do nothing to help them and the two ladies proceeded to beg me for whatever money I could spare them for gas to get back to Lansing. They pleaded, saying they would be forever grateful and drop the refunded money in the mail for me the next day if I provided my address. For a moment I hesitated hearing the voice of my father in my head, then something in my gut started to hurt. I handed them a 20, the only money I had with me along with my business card. Now *that* was what my mother would've done. Being used to driving a taurus back in high school, I knew $20 could get you a fair amount of miles. They thanked me repeatedly with smiles and compliments on my pink wellies. I smiled back and helped them with their map to direct them back to the freeway. They shouted a "God bless you, dear!" and drove off. I made my way into Caribou where I found myself, still in a spirit of generosity using my credit card to get Christy a late Christmas present -- some whole bean Obsidian Coffee -- volcanic glass as we call it, her favorite. I stared placidly at the bag of coffee thinking, "It was a little more expensive than I thought it'd be but 'tis the season."

Tis the Season? Hasn't the season come and left? Last evening felt a lot like Christmas to me. And I came home feeling good about myself. I don't know what made me just hand a complete stranger 20 of my hard earned, hard to come by dollars or what caused me to buy 1 pound of good coffee for a brand new friend who I'm fairly certain didn't get me anything for the holidays.

Later that evening, I found myself inspired to get back in the game -- I revamped my resume and cover letters. I applied for at least 30 new jobs all over the map -- Ann Arbor, Denver, Boston, Seattle, San Diego. And I was shocked that almost half of them that I felt drawn to apply for just happened to be positions at philathropic/non-profit organizations. Does this seem odd to anyone else?

In completely unrelated news, Dan just called my work phone and cleverly snuck the word 'cleavage' into the conversation while I was trying to be professional and act like he was a client. I burst into laughter and it confused Robert thoroughly. All those Albion kids need to go back to school and stop fooling around! :-p It's bad for business. Ha, today has been entirely bad for business. Today has just been blips and bumps of silly, unprofessional humour. I blame myspace. And the Bush administration. Hooray Thursday!

Oh and Laura, I saw someone who looked exactly like you from behind at half-off wine night at Andiamo the other night. She was adorned in a black sweater, had same hair color, hair up like you, gesticulating like you and I was 2 seconds away from tapping her on the shoulder when she turned (luckily) and it was not you. Not you at all. Boy that would've been an interesting explanation had I approached her... :-p

on engagements and getting to the church on time

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:55:49 GMT

I've come to realize that about a handful of my friends from college have gotten engaged or married within these first few moments of the New Year (or last few moments of '06). Congratulations to everyone who is now planning or enjoying wedded bliss with their soul-mate! How just lovely for you... And what a way to start off the year.
Perhaps this is a pleasant sign of 2007 being full of love and happiness for my friends? And perhaps even for me as well? Who knows... I'm certainly ecstatic for great people who have found other great people to spend the rest of their lives with. How grand! Though, I'm not exactly sure how this makes me feel on a personal, self-reflective level. Hm. No matter, this moment is for each of you cool cats who have found what it is you were looking for!
Congratulations!!! :) *toasts*

on the year of the Bond and driving in Davenport

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 19:20:38 GMT

I was made aware by an away message of a friend that this is the year of James Bond -- 007. I found that more amusing than I probably should've. My apologies.

Christmas came with folly and frivolity, and exited with abrupt quiet.

On December 22nd, I made the drive to a small gathering in Detroit by which I found my life in great peril. I almost got taken out by a semi while trying to abruptly move over 3 lanes to exit at Warren Ave. (which, for those out of town, is the 1st exit on the right after getting onto a new interstate on the left). Luckily I made it to Miss Snow's beautiful house in one piece and was greeted happily at the door by roughly 14 little dogs -- more like 3, but it felt like 14 -- and the familiar Alison smile and twinkling eyes I know and remember so well. It was a quintessential holiday scene: old friends who have gone years without one another gathering around a large table and a delicious feast (that Mr. Shilander painstakingly prepared). Laura and I laughed at our uncanny similarities and Susan introduced me to my dog-cousin, Cubby. I also finally got to meet the love of her life, Adam. Amy Lewis laughed the way she does and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Nick showed up a little late, but gave a wink and made us forget. Candlelight lit up happy faces as we reminisced about crazy professors' antics and performances gone awry. We hugged tightly as though we'd never let go and we talked like we still lived stone's throw away. But as most stories end, we all parted ways after giggling over glasses of wine to scatter once again all over the US. It was good to see them again. It was easily one of my most memorable Christmas gifts.

Christmas Eve was at my aunts' this year. I tend to enjoy Christmas Eve there. My aunts have a way of throwing a party in an elegant way with lots of good food and warm spirits (of the alcoholic variety). My only problem is sometimes they have a way of being too formal and posh for my liking. At our house, Christmas is an affair where all are welcome, paper plates will be used at some point to spare my father the agony of doing dishes into the New Year, and the lack of formality is pleasantly replaced with comfort and relaxed peace. At my aunts' the comfort and peace is replaced with polite dinner talk (that is far from polite when actually listened to by an outside ear) and most of the family partaking in too many liquid spirits to the result of Christmas caroling to the neighbors bearing guitar (Paul) and trumpet (Aunt Carol) at the ripe hour of 11 at night. This merry making debacle followed closely the after-dinner brandy snifter distributed to all -- rejected by most, but eventually consumed reluctantly... Needless to say, I enjoyed myself at our of-age soiree as all of the children have grown up as was made apparent by the title of the "kids table" being conspicuously changed to the "under 50" table. My brothers were missing as well as my favorite cousin, Calen and all of their significant others. They're absence was marked by my cousin Breanne asking why I wasn't engaged yet, why I was the only one without a companion at the table, and commenting on the only boyfriend of mine she's ever met and his gross inadequacy. Hm. All in all, it was a typical family gathering except perhaps more unruly because of the alcohol. We all made it home to our prospective houses safely. My sister and her Paul stayed at my place in my brother's absence and proceeded to be ill -- all night. This marks time #2 over the holiday that sick people mistook my house as infirmary and me as nurse. Hurrah. I was the only offspring present for Christmas morning at my parents which was sad, though pleasant as last year I expected to be in another country at this point.

Post-Christmas, despite my best efforts (and desanitizing the entire house), I got the illness that was plighting all that surrounded me. Luckily my brother was still out of town and my boss was understanding, so I had a lot of time to myself in a quiet house to recover just in time to leave for Davenport, Iowa for the wedding and New Years bash of the century with some of the people from a house made of coffee I used to love dearly and sweetly call my home...

It felt like it was still the middle of the night when I stumbled out the door at 7 am last Saturday morning on my way to Dearborn to meet Jill and Kevin for the drive out to Davenport. As I arrived, I was greeting by the familiar faces of the two people I spent more time with than anyone else for the majority of my senior year. Jill's mother, bless her heart, had coffee with to-go cups ready for us, flavoured creamers, and a delicious selection of muffins and pastries for the road. We got into Kev's sister's grand prix (the safest vehicle according to the Capeharts) and took to the road. The drive was long, but not really tedious. We chatted pleasantly along the turnpike. We picked up Jaime in Howe, Indiana which was really cool because I hadn't seen where Jaime was from, only heard about it. It was exactly how she described. Quiet country town with lots of Amish people in buggies about. It was quaint. I liked it. Though actually seeing Jaime in that kind of setting was pretty funny. The trip past relatively quick and we got to Davenport in plenty of time to check in, relax and unpack before meeting Amber and everyone for appetizers and drinks at Applebee's. Thinking appetizers wouldn't be enough for our hungry tummies, we stopped by McD's to get some food before meeting the others. Mm, I haven't had a double cheeseburger in about 6 months. It was really good. Though left me feeling like crap. Guess that's what a healthy diet'll do to ya. Amber was beautiful as ever and had the glow of the coming wedding on her face. It was great to see Lauren again, finally meet her Matt, and commiserate with Ken and Ryan. Drank perfect margaritas, had some nachos, met Amber's Davenport friends and proceeded to have and impromptu bachelorette party for her (she was not getting married until 7pm the following evening). We all went to Fusion in downtown Davenport...
Now I would like to interject quickly how much I really like the city of Davenport. It is extremely hilly (as in San Francisco-esque topography) which I really like. Not to mention it's right on the Mississippi River that I hadn't seen before which was beautiful. It's got a pretty hoppin' downtown with tall buildings, etc. I was really surprised by how cool it was.
So, yes, Fusion. For Amber's bachelorette drag show. Yes. I've never been to a gay bar or a drag show in my life and both were eye-opening and pretty amazing experiences. The queens were actually v. beautiful and I was intrigued by these people who took their femininity so seriously. I was fascinated by the clientele, the interactions of the guests and queens, and the experience on the whole. I tipped one of the drag queens during the show, because really, she was just gorgeous and ridiculously talented. The life they must lead... I found myself admiring them for remaining so passionate about something so important to them, yet so taboo, especially in Iowa. And we all had a hell of a good time which is all that matters really. Jill, Kev, Jaime and I called it a night at about 12.30, exhausted from the day while the others went out to another bar.
Next day included all day marathon of Six Feet Under on Bravo while lying prostrate in hotel beds, napping on and off. It was glorious. Then to the IHOP for breakfast/lunch. Had pancakes which were sinfully good. Sara appeared and went with Jaime to Target to both purchase and wrap her wedding gift. We all got all prettied-up for the wedding and were on our way to the Northgate Place. We all sat politely discussing each others professions, schoolwork, etc. This was the only polite part of the evening I assure you ;)... The wedding ceremony was brief and beautiful with bride in teal and groom in zoot suit with teal feather in fedora hat to match bride. Officiated by her sister-in-law who was ordained on ministry.org. It was a fantastic affair on the whole -- very Amber/Kyle. Unconventional and unforgettable. Everyone and everything was beautiful. They had a cupcake tower, goldfish on tables, and appetizers that Ken and Ryan refused to eat because of their stupid diet. And there was lots of Michael Jackson played late in the evening (mostly for Ken's benefit). Our table of 8 were really making the best of our time together, reliving the night as if it were a themed coffeehouse party. Midnight was counted down and toasted. Death Cab for Cutie appropriately brought in 2007. Hugs and kisses were shared and the party continued late into the night. It was... a pleasant reminder, a breath of fresh air. Somethings never change and never will. Friends I made from the Coffeehouse at Albion are like that.

Now post-holiday, finally shook the sickness and feeling pretty good about 2007. It's back to work at the gallery with new ideas and a new outlook for the coming year. I'm getting back into the swing of things with a new-found optimism of what this year will bring me. I'm very hopeful and excited. Though extremely nervous about certain bits...
My 2007 Resolutions:
1. Running in a race of some kind. And finish well (for me).
2. Being more honest with myself.
3. Moving. Or spending some serious time somewhere outside Michigan.
4. Backpacking a new trail.
5. Experiencing something new and out of the ordinary.

that last one at least should be easy enough.
Happy New Year, everyone! *toasts* To you and your resolutions.

on pretty angels names sarah and a 'green' christmas

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 19:21:30 GMT

Miss Wingo just came in and surprised me at the gallery with a vanilla milkshake (happens to be my favorite) and a warm hug. What a dear girl she is and I think I almost forgot how much I missed her due to my recent bout of busy activity... But actually seeing her made me very aware of the fact that I do in fact miss her quite a bit. Her face lit up and eyes glistened happily as she told a couple stories about recent events. She was a pleasant reminder of the things I left behind at Albion that I'd rather not be forced to live without. She reminded me about the good things that came from Albion that I'm grateful for. Thanks for stopping by, Sarah and I do hope to spend more time with you again soon. Hope your guinea pig search was successful and that you now own a 'Benedick', 'Antigonus' or 'Mortimer' (that last could be a Lady or Sir depending on its sex).

Looks like it may in fact be a rather green Christmas. One would think this would make a person with a last name like mine happy. It does not. I have decided to go on strike until it snows. Therefore kill two birds with one stone -- avoiding work until the holiday and getting a couple feet of winter wonderland from Santa.

Some of my family members have officially fallen off the deep end when it comes to who can and cannot attend family gatherings. Long story and I need to get back to work.

one last note: Happy birthday today to Jon! May your day be a full metro car of delight.

the end.

On Fictional Facts and Yellow Tag Sales

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 17:52:22 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - but it has to be fictional. C'mon, give it a try, have some fun with it and then get others to do it for you.

I normally hate this kind of thing, but this one sounded fun. And I'm finding it v. difficult to keep myself entertained while being buried with work I could care less about at the gallery.

Thanks in advance for distracting me a minute from the holiday-stuck-at-work-blues.

In completely unrelated news, Meijer sells sex toys. No joke. At least in Ohio they do. Because there's really nothing better than a vibrator except a cheap one with a yellow price drop tag in a grocery store.

on hump days and database-men named 'Carl'

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:34:19 GMT

This day will not end. All I can think about is chili, thai food, dunkin donuts coffee, Christmas gifts (and how poor I am), and sitting around in my pjs later tonight. Why must any of us work at all really? I think the fact I haven't taken a 'vacation' of any note since I was hired back in May is driving me utterly and completely mad. All I want is to go on holiday. Someplace warm, sandy, oceanic and margarita...ed.

I now am the proud owner (that's the wrong word, but I can't think of a better one) of 5 new girl friends. Molly, Christy, Priscila, Katie, and Jen. Anna's 5 other bridesmaids. We had a dress fitting this past weekend with only 2 small changing rooms, so we got to know each other rather quickly to be sure. The comical fitting and jokes about butt bows and pranks to play on Anna turned into about 5 hours of us hanging out. They are a bit more grounded in their faith (to say the least) than I am, but I adore them all already. I am fascinated by them and I think they are intrigued by me. They are so sweet, kind, and funny. And they each took the time to sit and talk with me as if they genuinely cared to know me. I'm very excited and blessed to have a friend-base here made of so many great women. Because really, gentlemen are confusing mostly. And it's pleasant to be understood completely on that kind of level again.

I need desperately to go on holiday.

Poor Carl who set up a new database here needs to go on holiday as well. He was here for 5 hours (most of it spent on the phone w/ his offices trying to get the code right) which was horrific for ME.. I can't even imagine for terrible it must've been for him. Poor Carl. I wish I had some strong brandy to offer Poor Carl yesterday, but Robert hasn't gotten the office Christmas party spirits yet. I could've used some yesterday, too. I hate databases. But I chatted to Poor Carl briefly about Linux (he saw Tux on my wall) which made him happy momentarily, so I feel Poor Carl's experience here wasn't a total loss.

And finding time for absolutely everyone during the holiday season is proving v. difficult. How does one fit everyone in and make everyone know you're thinking of them, missing them, loving them... The decisions of how to spend my time have always been the hardest it seems.

on the "crack" of dawn and rocky's failing inspiration

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 16:05:32 GMT

The Royal Oak Credit Union sign read 18^o this morning at 7:32 am. And the wind and snow were smacking me in the face. Hard.

Dude, I think I quit. And Rocky's a whore. When I got back home, I was covered in snow, pink-cheeked and sweating. Anyone who does this for fun must be crazy. Or on crack.
Or both, like Rocky: a psychotic crack whore.

The end.

on jackie o and dream bars

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 03:07:12 GMT

The alarm sounded like a freight train blasting through my head (instead of politely stopping at the station) as I rolled over to turn it off this morning. No, I wasn't hung over and no I didn't pull an all nighter to finish some take-home for Margaret. This was an adult feeling. I rolled out of bed, dressed quietly and stepped out into the snow. The blood pulsed through my legs as they gathered goose-pimples in the morning light. It was 7.30 AM. And wonder of wonders, I was out running. The reasons why this happened are haphazard, all I know is that I felt I had no choice in the matter. I ran a slow, but steady couple miles and almost picked up speed at the end at the thought of a hot shower before work.
   It put me in a good mood for the day. I dare say I even treated other people better today because of my productive morning. Not to mention how gorgeous it was out. Sun tickling the tops of bare trees and making the wings of the geese huddled at the golf course turn a lovely shade of brown - almost the color of cappuccino as they squawked, startled at my passing. The snow crunched under my feet and glistened as the sun started to rise. There was no one else out running, very few cars on the road, and if I wasn't cold and exhausted it could have been extremely pleasant... Which leads me to the wish I could do it every morning, but the realistic doubt that such silly wishes will ever come true.
   I think I may be ready soon to show the world *exactly* what I've got...
   Did I mention I hate Christmas shopping? Does anyone want to go for me? I like most things about the holidays, but certainly not the commercialism. Don't be surprised if I make you a necklace out of macaroni, glitter and elmer's glue instead of a real gift... speaking of being a grown up. Just a heads up. Happy Christmas!
   I've had the chance to catch up with old friends as of late (usually while I'm multi-tasking at work) and have found this to be most gratifying. Livingston and I still find comfort in each other and openly rant about personal things at the drop of a hat. And then offer to throw "blanket parties" for the latest aggressor. Because they deserve it, really. Michael, now an attorney from Chicago, was once one of my favorite colleagues when I worked for a state rep. campaign in high school (while I was in a beauty pageant -- another story for another day, preferably with a beer in hand). He and I still find plenty to talk about it seems and his witty humor is still in tact. Anna and I have grown closer to one another in the planning of her wedding. At first when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I felt it was rather out of obligation ("we've been best friends since third grade"), but Anna's that one friend we all have. The one that you can go years without speaking to and she will still know your favorite flavor of ice cream, what your biggest fear is and who you are when no one else is looking. She and I have changed a lot since we were kids but our loyalty and devotion to each other has not.
   Anna invited me to a Christmas Tea at her church. I eagerly agreed, actually very excited to see what the place and faith she had latched onto so fervently was really like. It was nothing like I expected and everything I expected. Her friends were kind and the other ladies from church welcomed me warmly. The tea was good (and so were the tea cakes) and I was surprised by how much I actually got from the experience. The service portion actually made a lot of sense. I am not interested in converting or even attending this church on a regular basis, but it was a positive and enriching experience. And it meant a lot to me to see Anna in her element, just so passionate about something so important to her. She was at peace and happy. I could tell she was glad to share it with me. On the way home she said something that struck me, something so wise, something I want to write down...
   She mentioned taking the time to enjoy the seasons of life. Never again will you be at this point. We are always rushing for that next step, looking to the next big thing instead of realizing that we're at the point we're at for a reason and there's value to being here. She mentioned that she was so happy to hear I was living with my brother. It's a season. I won't be here forever. And I'm sure when I'm out in Hollywood or New York or Seattle or even if I stay in Michigan but move into my own house, I'll look back and be glad I did this. That I had this priceless time with my brother -- that we shared a house as adults, moved tvs, watched movies together, paid bills, cooked each other dinner. What an interesting concept; to be at peace and patient with the seasons of one's life.
   I'm realizing I talk about the same things over and over again in this blog. How boring for you. Maybe I'm trying to convince myself of something. Or maybe I just don't want to forget feeling this way when I'm in a new season.
   Here's to dream bars, Amber's wedding (I can't even sit still I'm so excited! -- wedding, road trip, reunion, new years!), Jackie O, Christmas Bonuses *crosses fingers* and that the handful of pals I still have are ridiculous, funny, and cheesy! *toasts*

on hot damn! and back to work blues

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:24:01 GMT

Hot damn.

That phrase personifies most of my weekend. Ha.

Tux and his mom are staring at me from where they were pinned in jest on my cubicle wall. That jest turned into permanence as I didn't have the heart to take them down. Tux is mocking me in all his pudgy, brilliant OS cuteness. Today has been hectic, frustrating and ridiculously unmotivating. Today I'm being productive due to lack of choice, not as a result of artistic inspiration.

I find myself feeling bad for about 1.3 seconds until I realise I am surrounded by coworkers (and even an employer) who remain in perhaps an even worse post-holiday coma than I do. Today has been delirious drudgery. And the end seems far distant.

Robert departs for Florida tomorrow for the duration of the week. To "close some deals" he heralds to the crew and I. By that I am most certain he means sitting on the beach drinking Mai Tais. Martin and Marty both dart glances of knowing agreement. We collectively snigger as he goes on with the week's instructions oblivious that the laughter is at his expense. As soon as my mind is filled with horrifying images of Robert's last vacation (to Hawai'i -- leaving me to run the place by myself and nearly putting us out of business), I was struck with another interesting question. Who will be "in charge" during this necessary (ha) absence? Martin and I will be left to our own devices as the only full-time-ish staff still around. This will most likely mean that for the duration of the week, we will be reveling in fond nostalgia of what living in England was like and trading stories of past outdoor adventures. But who rules the roost? Who calls the shots? The 22-year-old marketing *cough* genius who has been working here for 7 months or the 48-year-old marketing genius (minus the throaty congestion) who has been working here for about 2 weeks, but retains about 10 years of prior ad agency marketing experience? Hm. Conundrum. My vote's for Martin.

Thanksgiving was nice. Family is well. Friends are too, it would seem. And seeing people this past weekend was marvelous. Rejuvenating. Too bad now that I've had a taste of life outside the gallery, I only want more of it. I find myself daydreaming about it. And I also find myself at a cross-roads of sorts. And not the one I expected. For those interested, I didn't take the new job. For details, inquire within though the story is not that earth shattering. My cross-roads is not based upon location or occupation (though concern still lies there, especially financially), but something else entirely. And the funny thing is, as with the other potential crossroads, the key to this is patience. Because it's really out of my hands now.

Totally excited about New Year's plans and having a road trip reunion with some of my nearest and dearest from some of the greatest years of my young life. Cheers to that!

And a few words of advice from the weekend: Good beer is hard to come by, but good people to love are even harder to come by. Cherish them. And if your bartender suggests replacing cranberry juice with hot damn because they ran out, don't take them up on it. Or you'll end up penniless with a broken shower curtain in one hand and carpet cleaner in the other.

Oh, and Wii is probably the coolest thing since the dawn of Nintendo. Everyone should have one.