It's · always · the · quiet · ones...

Hello friends. Lost and found. Near and far. It has been over a year since my last post and if you still have me somewhere on your 'friends list' despite my missing presence in your life on the interweb, I hope your life in the past year brought blessings, but also pain to help you grow, feel something new and embrace the unknown.

It's strange to summarize the past year in a few short sentences. Let's see if I can do it.

Google has gifted me with both hope and fear. The short story is I love my profession and the brilliant people I see when I get my coffee in the morning. Ann Arbor has become my home and I live close enough to the Stadium to hear game cheers and close enough to downtown to bike/walk to work. My sister got married. I'm actually starting to understand a bit of what 'love' truly requires. I have a lovely, though small set of friends that keep me smiling. The old friends, the dear ones, still make an occasional, welcomed appearance and remind me that they loved me from the start and still do. I've experienced trials in the past year that have tested my faith in myself and humanity. Torture. I had a nice slice of that and am thankful for the friends I trusted with my life who pulled me out of it. The trials make the blessings sweeter, as cliche as it is and as I reflect on the year since my last post, I can count my 'complaints' on one hand. How lucky am I?

Very.

I have been struggling as of late to find any motivation to do much of anything outside of work. Perhaps it is because I'm still in the climbing phase -- I'm still learning new things everyday and being thrust into the fire (often on the same day I learn the facts of said 'fire') to learn through mistakes and exposure. This is a wild and rather intense kind of training. Granted, as this is my first real 'corporate' job, I don't have much to compare to, but sometimes I question if I'll make it through it in a blaze of glory or simply crash and burn. 

Wow, there were too many fire metaphors in that last paragraph. Basically, the job is fantastic. The grand opening last week was remarkable and I was really proud to be a part of that milestone for the company. I'm challenged by my work and inspired by those around me. Yet I find the intensity of it all overwhelming at times. I've only 'lost it' once and my patience with myself and others is improving greatly. This is good. It's a lesson I need to learn. That I can't always be perfect. Especially when it comes to analytics, javascript and source code. But I'm doing just fine and I'll get there eventually.

And we have a wii and the newest version of guitar hero. The impeccable stress is very much evened out by the playtime I get with my stellar coworkers once or twice a week. Us geeks present for your amusement: aluminum falcons.

Since work has been the heart of my existence lately (and I rather like it -- I never knew I'd be so career driven), there's little to report elsewhere. The main highlights are numbered below for your convenience:

1. I ran in the Chelsea 5K. New Years resolution met. And not only did I finish the damn thing, but I got first place in my age bracket (20-29). I am still swelling with pride over this accomplishment. My first race. My sister came in a close 2nd and it was a really great bonding experience for us. And she was ridiculously proud of me which was the best reward. 

2. I have been spending more time with different kinds of people lately. Work and otherwise. I'm branching out and making new close friends. I feel I'm growing because of this and I really like that feeling.

3. Anna's getting married in two weeks so things on that front have gotten crazy. Showers, bachelorette parties, weekends up north. Hopefully after the 16th, I'll have a bit more time to spend with folks. I'm excited for her though. She and Randy are quite the match.

4. I may be going skydiving in July with fellow Googlers. This will mark the stupidest/coolest thing I've done in a long time.

5. I've reconnected with some valuable Albionians lately. This has been a testament to the fact that school really had a collection of kind souls. There are only a few who I can say I am consistently close with now, but those few continue to shock and amaze me. We talk about grown up things now, but our consideration for one another is still in tact, if not escalated to this new plateau... I have friends that I would drop everything for if they asked or needed me. And I know they would do the same. This is a gift that's rather foreign to me, outside from family. And I'm very very thankful.

6. I need some time to sit down somewhere peaceful and sort some things out. There have been both grand and painful things that have happened lately that I haven't had much time to grasp yet. And they deserve/demand my attention. I'm praying life pauses long enough for me to think them through soon. I'm in a season of busy avoidance and that's becoming a bit of an issue. Patience however. I'm getting better at it. And I ask that others be patient with me in the meantime as well. =)

Thanks for listening to me for a moment. It's been a long overdue catch up. Sorry for the vague-ness of it all. I'll have to start updating more often so specifics can be included without turning this blog into a novella. Love to those that have held my hand through the difficult bits as of late and especially those who have literally made me slow down and laugh. Cheers to you!

Without further ado, after waiting entirely too long to post such news, I put forth the following exciting piece of information to all my cheerleaders out there:

I have been hired by Google.

I sent in my acceptance letter yesterday to corporate in California so it's official. After weeks of interviews, tests, writing samples, and background checks, they offered me the job. I will be starting work with them in early April in the bohemian, liberal heaven (or closest thing to it in MI), Ann Arbor. My position title is AdWords Coordinator. Basically, AdWords is the Google advertising system that is the corporation's main source of revenue. I'll be working with Fortune 500 clients as well as local small businesses, much like the one I'm at now, getting them started on the wonders of online advertising with the most used search engine in the world. Yeah. Wowza. More on this, see entry dated 2/21/07 sporting lil' Tux.
   As Jeff would put it, I have officially joined the Ann Arbor geek community. And what a happy, nerdy lot we are!
   So this new position brings with it all sorts of exciting adult (ish) things like stocks, 401Ks and nice healthcare. All this is foreign to me after being relatively "self employed" at the gallery this past year. Apartment shopping. Both for the actual apartment and furniture/appliances for said apartment. I am doing grown up things. This is both unbelievable and fantastic.
   After the good news of the offer and giving Robert my 2 weeks notice (which was by far the hardest and saddest thing I've had to do in a long time -- a complicated story, ask if you're curious), I got to hop on a plane to go to New York. The timing was perfect. I left with a huge weight off my shoulders and it made my time in the city just that much more of a celebration. My week in New York passed at a break-neck pace and it's all very hazy now looking back on it. I did so much. I loved it so much. Seeing Bobby was a huge highlight, bumming around Astoria with Graham and Rick, playing Mario Kart, trying to catch a mouse, cabbies that didn't know the difference between North and South, seeing Avenue Q (Jordy, I thought of you!), drinking champagne at EO, playing Buckhunter and darts at Flannery's, going to the MOMA and the Frick, Jameson on St. P's, eating insanely good food, modeling, working, etc etc. I'll post more details sometime soon.  And I miss the city itself more than I thought I wuold, almost as much as the people I left there.

So hurrah. Life is certainly grand. And I'm just trying to soak it all in. What a lucky duck I am. Thanks to all you cats who supported me through this ordeal. I owe you big. Angels, all of you.

It's true. You can really and truly get a Christian version of Linux.

And you have a choice between Ubuntu Christian Edition (UCE) or Ichthux which has a far cooler name.

The Christian editions feature bundled Bible & miscellaneous scripture tools and software, and has adult-content filtering enabled. Maybe it also filters out swear words? I don't know. But I bet it scans your email for vicious gossip-spreading and the Lord's name used in a disrespectful manner.

In other news, March is already a weird month and I'm only one day into it. It has been pouring rain and storming all afternoon. This general gloom was preceeded this morning with about an inch of snow. Michigan is known for its strange weather, but this is almost too much to take.

My brother has been noticably depressed at the notion I am likely to move out in short order. This makes me feel both loved and heartbroken at once. He and I had a surprising go. A very good one. And I wouldn't trade it for having lived anywhere else. Mike has taught me a lot and we've regained a connection we lost from our youth. No world travels or apartment in a crowded city could ever replace that.

Hoping to have some good news to report come next week. If so, I will be painting the town all shades of crimson with various compatriots. I'm looking forward to it, either way. Because even if it's bad news, I've got other journeys and new paths lined up. Holler.

I am looking forward to a couple outdoor adventures I've got in the works for the coming months. And they actually look and sounds probable and affordable. They include a romp in Kentucky, backpacking an island up north (either Isle Royale or North Manitou), and white water rafting trip when they let out the Gauley in September that features a "Pirate Party" themed weekend. All of this is stellar news. I finally have something adventurous to plan for and day dream about.

Hm. This was a relatively useless post except for the OS bit. I think I just felt like airing out some of those thoughts -- test them out. Thanks for reading.

The first sibling, my best friend for life said:

"Let's see if you get the job, then we'll talk."

The second sibling, my hero for life said:

"Don't fuck it up."

The third sibling, the one I'm living with; the one I never understood and who never understood me. The one who worshiped me the moment I was born, but then... stopped... left me a note that said:

"Good luck today. Love, Mike." And surprisingly, he has been bragging about me ever since...

Hm.

I find that just grand. Each had a different take, a different kind of push, a different kind of encouragement. This is not a comment on my siblings. I love each one for various reasons. I just found each response at this particular moment  perfect. And have since decided tonight that if I do ever have kids, there will be at least 3. Because. Well, because you never know.

And as I sat outside in the dark tonight, the wind was blowing hard from almost every direction. I feel good about this. The winds of change are here... am I am ready. Bring it on, bitches.

Tux and his mom are out in full force today pudgily smiling proudly at me. I'm full of this giddy sensation that's just tingling all over. The past few days I've been back from LA have been both surreal and dreamlike. I feel like I've watching the past couple days pass from the outside. It's one of those weird times I think we all experience at one time or another when things are passing so fast that all you can do is watch. Emotions are heightened and stress reaches the breaking point of almost a drunk buzzed feeling. Wow, I'm really not describing this v. well.

Long story short: I am one interview away from what seems like it could very well be my dream job.

If I'm not acting in some manner, this job would be it. The job description fits me and my interests almost too perfectly. The atmosphere is exactly what college students dream about when they imagine the ideal work environment. There is so much potential to grow professionally. And it taps into my secret nerdy side that has been fascinated with computers, software, and the glories of the internet since last spring... The people working there are my age -- young and ambitious. They are each brilliant in their own way and have fascinating backgrounds. Each person I bumped into during my 3 hour interview yesterday was from a different walk of life. They openly talked about loving their work. Their job had sent each of them various, even exotic places. They reveled in what it was that made me different.

I was their last interview of the day. They all left to play whirlyball as a company after (yes, I'm serious). And first thing this morning, I got an email that said the sooner I could come back to meet the big guy in charge for a final interview, the better. I'm meeting with him this coming Monday.

This whole time I didn't want to trump it. I didn't want to even mention it or get too excited. But their quick, vested interest in me is greater than I expected.

Google might want me. . . Google.

*shakes head in disbelief*
p.s. A special thanks to Jeff and Spencer for meeting me for dinner and drinks after. You two proved that old friends are indeed the best. Thank you both. Hopefully we might be seeing more of each other soon.

I'm back from LA and it was pretty nice, but surprisingly I wasn't thoroughly wowed or impressed. I also didn't really get to see too much of it as I was working all week. It was warm and the social scene was fascinating, but from what I gathered, I couldn't see myself in LA. I didn't despise it, I just felt out of place. The people I ran into and encountered there are very unlike me and I found I had practically nothing in common with them. But all in all it was a learning experience that I (for the most part) enjoyed. I got out of town for a minute to a place I've always wanted to go and I got to help out some business associates/friends with some promotional consultation. That made me feel useful and smart. And you can't really go wrong with feeling useful and smart.

When I got into work from the red eye, Robert took me to White Castle for a Valentine's Day themed business lunch to thank me for being the other lady in his life (his wife, the queen, being #1), his 'adopted daughter' as he called me. White Castle? Yeah, it was pretty awesome. They get all fancy on Valentine's Day! We're on the verge of a lot of big things at the gallery... Like so close, I'm actually allowing myself to get excited. And I'm not one to get my hopes up, so this is a big deal. And although he's insane and bugs the hell out of me sometimes, my boss is actually a bad ass. A bad ass who has my back and thinks I'm brilliant. And I have a job that people are green with envy about -- one I could talk energetically about for hours and is completely different everyday.

But I have an interview in Ann Arbor next week for something that could also be exciting... And Kels still wants me to come to LA with her permanently. Choices for the coming weeks may be extremely difficult to make. I'm just easing into it. And I've decided to take things as they come and see where life takes me next.

My latest pet peeve (aside from shoveling weighty snow): People I've never even met who ring me at the office while I'm on the clock for unpleasant and completely unprofessional reasons. That is simply out of line, not to mention invasive. All I can say to said strangers, and one in particular, is good luck. It seems you need it more than I do.

The Office is on tonight. And I'm so geeked!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. I know I'm late. Such is the theme with me lately. Sorry.

"The real question is: what happens when the chase is over? What happens when you get exactly what you want? At what price? Change is still change. Relationships will change, people will change. All by your wishes coming true. Change will always remain surrounded by fear and lined with sadness; even if it's 'good' for you."

So when/if I get what I want, then what?

Then what?

Hm. I'm on the verge. I've laid all my cards out in various situations. And now I'm just waiting. But what if I get what I think I want? I'm uncertain about this crap and I want to make a huge move/job-change to another state or country? I'm crazy and in trouble. Ha. Plus, I'm full of worrysome what-ifs. Which is a waste of energy that I barely have to begin with.

Really I think a vacation would fix all of this. A little backpacking bliss. Yup.

In other news, a telemarketer just hung up on *me*... What is that?

Someone remind me I have to call Starko, because really I can only put it off for so long. And my resume is a piece of crap (hard to tell from any other "smart" -- i used that term loosely to describe my good grades -- communications major from a tiny liberal arts college) except for my boastful international experience. Adding the fact that I am, indeed a theater major will be a plus. It will also be helpful not to live in fear that my potential employer will call up my educational institution to make sure I'm not a liar to find out that, according to the registrar, I am *not* a Theater major, or minor for that matter. They gave me no credit at all for all the crap I went through to graduate with a double-major. There was no mark of it in the graduation booklet (which I actually remember being amused about at the time, for some reason) and no record of it in my transcript. All that's there is just about 100+ theater classes/practicum credits that I clearly must've done just for "fun"... I know I submitted the necessary paperwork promptly, so I'm joining the ranks of every other Albion student who at one time or another bitched about the registrar. Hey, at least I'm in good company at this point.
I just have to call Starko. And honestly, I don't feel like it. At least I have some 'good' things to tell him. I am employed doing something other than working for the man. I'm working for A man, but not THE man. And I have some promising artistic opportunities coming. So, at least I wouldn't be a disappointment -- at least not on the surface ;). I'm just trying to resign myself to the idea I'm going to have to go back to Albion to sort this out personally. And I have no ambition to go back there. Sorry kids, Albion isn't really my hang-out anymore. At least if I went back I could catch up with a couple folks before they jump ship which might be nice. Meh, Albion just doesn't do it for me like it used to. Which is actually probably a really good thing.

Last night I had a dream I turned Jason Sebacher straight. And the whole sequence of events was rather inappropriate. This dream was oddly placed for various reasons including the fact I haven't seen him since I graduated last May. I woke up utterly confused and almost called the boy. Luckily (for him), it was just a dream. Though he did make a rather fetching straight man... *blush* okay okay, enough enough. back to work.

Someone needs to remind me to bring my laptop to work, too.
And to send Justin some sort of trinket for his birthday, preferably before it passes (it's this Sunday).

I'm turning into an old lady who goes to bed early and needs to be reminded to turn off the television.

For those who know me well, it is no secret that I adore soccer. And that Arsenal will be my team of choice until death. And I could also watch footy all day if I could, go to matches until I ran out of money and sit in the pub hollering at the television with all the other old british men, pints in hand enjoying a heated match all afternoon. Therefore, since I love my Gunners, and now after their latest win over Blackburn, this link is appropriately posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjz2kbaCq9Y

*swoons, enthralled*
*proceeds to watch over and over*
Not only do my boys play dirty, cards thrown all over, kicking the other team (literally), but Thierry Henry became a hero with his parting goal. And Henry certainly caught my eye with this shot. I'm usually not one for egomania or 'end-zone dances' that surround professional sports, but this one is both impromptu, extremely enjoyable to watch, and warranted. Cheers mates! And it'll sure be tough to beat that goal. But if any team can beat it, it'll be my Gunners!

I've been playfully and pleasantly messaging Christy back and forth all day via facebook while attempting my other grim gallery tasks... this is what it's come to -- not that I really mind, I really enjoy Christy's at-work company as it seems from time to time, we are in very similar situations. Anna chose each of us as best friends at one point or another so we should at least get along. We more than get along. She's my work buddy now.

Tis the Season? Hasn't the season come and left? Last evening felt a lot like Christmas to me. And I came home feeling good about myself. I don't know what made me just hand a complete stranger 20 of my hard earned, hard to come by dollars or what caused me to buy 1 pound of good coffee for a brand new friend who I'm fairly certain didn't get me anything for the holidays.

Later that evening, I found myself inspired to get back in the game -- I revamped my resume and cover letters. I applied for at least 30 new jobs all over the map -- Ann Arbor, Denver, Boston, Seattle, San Diego. And I was shocked that almost half of them that I felt drawn to apply for just happened to be positions at philathropic/non-profit organizations. Does this seem odd to anyone else?

In completely unrelated news, Dan just called my work phone and cleverly snuck the word 'cleavage' into the conversation while I was trying to be professional and act like he was a client. I burst into laughter and it confused Robert thoroughly. All those Albion kids need to go back to school and stop fooling around! :-p It's bad for business. Ha, today has been entirely bad for business. Today has just been blips and bumps of silly, unprofessional humour. I blame myspace. And the Bush administration. Hooray Thursday!

Oh and Laura, I saw someone who looked exactly like you from behind at half-off wine night at Andiamo the other night. She was adorned in a black sweater, had same hair color, hair up like you, gesticulating like you and I was 2 seconds away from tapping her on the shoulder when she turned (luckily) and it was not you. Not you at all. Boy that would've been an interesting explanation had I approached her... :-p

I've come to realize that about a handful of my friends from college have gotten engaged or married within these first few moments of the New Year (or last few moments of '06). Congratulations to everyone who is now planning or enjoying wedded bliss with their soul-mate! How just lovely for you... And what a way to start off the year.
Perhaps this is a pleasant sign of 2007 being full of love and happiness for my friends? And perhaps even for me as well? Who knows... I'm certainly ecstatic for great people who have found other great people to spend the rest of their lives with. How grand! Though, I'm not exactly sure how this makes me feel on a personal, self-reflective level. Hm. No matter, this moment is for each of you cool cats who have found what it is you were looking for!
Congratulations!!! :) *toasts*

I was made aware by an away message of a friend that this is the year of James Bond -- 007. I found that more amusing than I probably should've. My apologies.

Christmas came with folly and frivolity, and exited with abrupt quiet.

Post-Christmas, despite my best efforts (and desanitizing the entire house), I got the illness that was plighting all that surrounded me. Luckily my brother was still out of town and my boss was understanding, so I had a lot of time to myself in a quiet house to recover just in time to leave for Davenport, Iowa for the wedding and New Years bash of the century with some of the people from a house made of coffee I used to love dearly and sweetly call my home...

Now post-holiday, finally shook the sickness and feeling pretty good about 2007. It's back to work at the gallery with new ideas and a new outlook for the coming year. I'm getting back into the swing of things with a new-found optimism of what this year will bring me. I'm very hopeful and excited. Though extremely nervous about certain bits...
My 2007 Resolutions:
1. Running in a race of some kind. And finish well (for me).
2. Being more honest with myself.
3. Moving. Or spending some serious time somewhere outside Michigan.
4. Backpacking a new trail.
5. Experiencing something new and out of the ordinary.

that last one at least should be easy enough.
Happy New Year, everyone! *toasts* To you and your resolutions.

Miss Wingo just came in and surprised me at the gallery with a vanilla milkshake (happens to be my favorite) and a warm hug. What a dear girl she is and I think I almost forgot how much I missed her due to my recent bout of busy activity... But actually seeing her made me very aware of the fact that I do in fact miss her quite a bit. Her face lit up and eyes glistened happily as she told a couple stories about recent events. She was a pleasant reminder of the things I left behind at Albion that I'd rather not be forced to live without. She reminded me about the good things that came from Albion that I'm grateful for. Thanks for stopping by, Sarah and I do hope to spend more time with you again soon. Hope your guinea pig search was successful and that you now own a 'Benedick', 'Antigonus' or 'Mortimer' (that last could be a Lady or Sir depending on its sex).

Looks like it may in fact be a rather green Christmas. One would think this would make a person with a last name like mine happy. It does not. I have decided to go on strike until it snows. Therefore kill two birds with one stone -- avoiding work until the holiday and getting a couple feet of winter wonderland from Santa.

Some of my family members have officially fallen off the deep end when it comes to who can and cannot attend family gatherings. Long story and I need to get back to work.

one last note: Happy birthday today to Jon! May your day be a full metro car of delight.

the end.